“A bird in hand…” — Musings

“A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.” brings back memories. An adage I grew up with, however, never understood. I remember looking at my Mom and Dad, nodding ‘yes’, I understood when in fact it was much later, when life continued to happen, I experienced it but at first didn’t recognize the proverb in the incident.

With three babies, three and under, an extremely low bank account and a husband with no job; he felt we had nothing in hand and had to trust that the two in the bush were close by. Jobs were abundant nearby and we would have been okay. However, he always liked a challenge, so sought out the toughest bird; he ‘knew’ this bird would make us ‘rich’!

So off to training for 2 weeks, leaving me and the babes at a loss and with just a few dollars. We abided in each day.

It was during that time I discovered the correlation.

Not only in the palm of my hand but everywhere was my safe treasure. God was in my palm, my heart, my soul, everywhere. We are commanded to have no other gods, birds or bushes before God, the Father. Hmmm… a bird in hand is God? Yes.

God never leaves us nor forsakes us. He is steady, solid, loving, fierce, forgiving and our solid foundation.

I saw that with the Almighty in my hand the two in the bush were merely unnecessary distractions. And God knew the way, the path that should be taken and we would have the sustenance that is needed for life.

Needless to say my husbands challenge proved to be a costly bemusement. He learned, the things we already have are more valuable than the things we only hope to get.

A Matter of Forgiveness

The end of a remarkable life leads me to reflect. She passed away at age 99. Her life simply stated, as the gentleman officiating said, “She saw a need and she set about to fulfill that need.”  Simple, yet so powerful, she lived what she believed and she passes her beliefs to us.

The loss of her life is sad. Those that gathered at the memorial service were a sad reminder about family relationships for me.

My mother was profoundly affected by her oldest brother’s greed and in the execution of her mother’s will. As a result of this there was a division between the remaining brother and sisters. In time another settlement occurred that led my mother to once again feel sorely toward more family.

Even though she has passed, she is still my mother. I believed her because she is my mother. My father supported her belief which confirmed that I should believe it myself. Through three generations this conflict remained and I reflect on the common denominator of each generation. Money and greed.

I may have questioned it before, but now that my parents are gone, I see it so clearly now. Mother had Alzheimer’s disease. Years went by before the definitive diagnosis was made and before I was even made aware. Her illness fueled these grudges. Simply explained her beliefs were a matter of forgiveness, but she did not. Our God commands us to love and forgive. There is no other option.

How mislead I was. It all came to light again at the memorial service. Extended family members attended the service, the 4^th generation of my mother’s struggles. I know because of my parents beliefs, I alienated them just as they did for far too long. I clearly remember them as children and teens, but now in their adult lives I found it difficult to recognize them. But recognize them I did. Though we did not talk for long, it was so clear what I had been missing for years. Very respectful, delightful men and women, whose lives I have missed due to greed and unforgiveness.

These behaviors affect another family. Even within our remarkable woman’s family, it happens. Through the years I have just learned to tolerate their blatant greed verbalized in conversation. Grudges remain due to a disrupting of their family as they see it. Never asking why the disruption occurred. This tangible discord I have just accepted. However, it is also pointedly directed at my daughter, a sensitive young woman, nearly 20 years of age. Family members she loved, now no longer speak to her because of choices I made for her. I want to fix it for her. Just as my parents wanted to for me and often did. I have talked to her about matters of the heart and relationships, God’s command to love, forgive and to be a witness for Him. In time, His time, it will come to light.

“So, dear sweet lady, in your life you were an amazing example and in your death you continue to open my eyes. As a niece, by marriage, I grew to care for you. When the marriage dissolved, you continued to call me the same. Your acceptance, no matter the situation, overwhelmed me to tears. You never really had to say what you believed as you lived it each and every day of your life. Thank you, Christine.”

Her life… a sense of home

That day we had lunch together and as often as we could from that day forward. We became fast friends, having similar ideals, hopes and our commonality of Jesus as our savior.

We soon grew to know one another. Working many hours a week together, we swiftly found ourselves on the same mindset, such that it was easy to communicate without speaking a word. We knew one another’s families, our wishes for each day and the future. We talked about anything and everything. We shared the same sense of humor and often laughed till the tears rolled down our cheeks. We saw one another at our worst and at our best; through the most difficult times and the best of times. If we didn’t see one another for a while it was as if it had only been a day as we could start right where we left off. We shared in one another’s joys and listened to one another sob as we spoke of a deep heartache. This all started over 25 years ago, and we remain the very best of friends.

Since last Thursday evening Pat has been in the hospital. She is very ill. Questions arise as to whether she will survive this. When I was reading the update from her daughter about this… my heart sank deeply and its buoyancy was tested as it came right back up. For in my heart of hearts the only result I could expect was her full recovery.

We had visited this with her about a few years ago. We did not think she was going to make it then.  The future looked ominous for her. The days she began to improve then, feel like they do now. The sense of peace and calm, not only mine, but also hers throughout that overwhelming time.

She is strong, so strong. Such a giving woman, volunteering to represent children, babies in court on their behalf. She loves them all, children, babies, teenager, alike, especially her granddaughters, Amber and Carly. She has seen my children grow into adult hood and now with babes of their own. She is innately sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and likewise sensitive and perceptive about what others may be struggling with or fearful of. She senses it and reaches out. Her sincerity is immediately felt and those she seeks to help readily talk with her as they see and feel her genuine concern and pure heart.  People are drawn to her. A sense of home is felt when with her. She sees the lonely and the defeated for which they are and reaches them as no other.

This is my friend, Pat, my friend with apparently 9 lives and the ability to pull through what seems like impossible circumstances with ease and grace.

She will be exhausted by the aggressive treatment, by the weakness and battling to get back on her feet.

But get back on her feet she will, and will continue her amazing ministry called Pat’s life.